Lessons from cancer

Today marks 11 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Whilst it seems like a distant memory for me, it will be a present reality for some of you, or someone you love. (Every day there are approximately 57 women diagnosed with breast cancer, in Australia alone. One in seven women will be diagnosed in their lifetime).

Whilst the memory of the physical challenges have faded, the lessons from the mental challenges are still with me, and I hope, might be of help to some of you.

My greatest challenge was the feeling that I had no control over the future. Compounded by the fact that when I am unhappy in the present, my tendency is to make plans for the future. Yet it’s hard to think about the future when you don’t know what to expect, or have no certainty about what path you will be on.

But the reality is that control is an illusion. None of us have control or certainty over the future. (We just think we do). At best we have a certain level of predictability, but nothing is guaranteed.

So what were my greatest lessons?

Acceptance. One of the greatest causes of suffering is clinging to how things used to be, or how you would like them to be. No amount of wishing or manifesting can change some things. Acceptance is different to giving up and different to denial. Learning to accept what I couldn’t change, and letting go of what I couldn’t control, was important for my mental health. (Still is).

Gratitude. The things I was grateful for during the tough times were vastly different to when life was going smoothly. The little things became important, like feeling the sun on my face as I sat in my egg chair. But also, the big things I’d previously taken for granted, like access to healthcare. These days, I write a gratitude list every Sunday.

Contentment. I now believe that acceptance and gratitude leads to contentment (the meaning behind the Sanskrit term, Santosha). Contentment doesn’t mean just being satisfied with what you have our how things are and not wishing for more or different. The true meaning involves learning to sit in the discomfort of uncertainty, and the unpleasantness of present circumstances, and being ok with it.

I didn’t learn these lessons overnight, or even in the time I was actively being treated for cancer. They are lessons that I have to learn over and over again, through the messiness of being human.

Sending my love to everybody that has been touched by cancer.